What is self-love?

This is what google says:

Self first does not mean selfish.

Self love does not mean vain.

It is not narcism

It is not big-headedness

Or a “better than though” attitude

It is not conceitedness or egotism

Self-love is an awareness of self.

Self-love is based on self-awareness and self-acceptance.

It is comfort in self-company.

It is celebration of self.

How to achieve self love?

That’s just it. You don’t.

Self-love cannot be achieved or “found” because it is a conscious effort.

Not a destination but a journey.

It is conscious self-thought.

It is handling life with calm and ease to suit self-needs, rather than permitting self-doubt to damage self-being.

It is not going with the flow but being the flow.

That is self-love.

What does self-love mean to me?

It is breathing through moments of conflict and facing them with a smile, instead of avoiding them and burying them and allowing the negativity to fester within and thus result in bitterness.

That is self-love.

It is facing demons long buried, with a clear headspace, and emerging with the same clear headspace

That is self-love

It is putting an end to self harm

That is self-love

It is embracing change when everything seems to be different

That is self-love

It is weeding out all negativity and allowing positivity to bloom in its place, within the garden of our souls.

How do I practice self-love?

I simply ask myself, “will doing this make me happy?”

Because if I cannot make myself happy, then how can I expect anything or anyone else in life to gives me happiness.

And if I am not happy, then how can I spread goodness and love if I cannot begin with myself?

I really did love myself. I believed I was the best version of myself I could be. So I would dress well and eat well. And I loved and laughed. And I was happy.

Maybe the phrase “Ayesha really loves herself” used to get to me.

And yes, I have been called “vain” and “conceited” and much worse and much more.

Until one day, I stopped loving myself.

And I became someone else. I whined. I complained. I cried. I made excuses. I gave up. I let the opinions of others get to me.

I became someone I couldn’t recognise in the mirror.

But here’s the thing. I didn’t allow myself to stay this person because this new person was not me.

The moment I became the most important person in my life again and the more I cared about what I thought about myself and less about what others thought about me, I began to heal.

I accepted myself.

And that, my friends and family, is how I am beginning to achieve self-love again.

What does self-love mean to you?

Leave a note to me regarding self-love in the comments ✌🏻

Peace and love,

Bibi Aysh …